Cover Me

It's time for the annual Bill Clinton cover story accompanied by an absolutely hideous cover photo:


The Mellowing of William Jefferson Clinton

There is so much wrong with that picture, starting with the hot pink tie and moving on to the pasty white skin and oddly compressed lips. The story itself is a positive one, discussing how he has "adjusted" to life outside of the presidency and now outside of the Obama White House. It features all of the elements you expect from Clinton puff-pieces: Bill travels the world! He has a foundation! He hangs out with Ron Burkle! John Podesta and Rahm Emmanual offer supportive quotes! He's "slowing down" after all of his heart troubles! He was the "first black president!" He goes to Davos! He talks to Putin late into the night!

The cover photo belies all of this. It shows an uncertain, foppish, aging boomer with a hint of the suspect in his eyes. Clinton has created a bit of a cottage industry of bad cover photos over the years, including the infamous 'crotch-shot' for "Esquire" which managed to make him look like a smug satyr, even as his apologists claimed the photographer was trying to evoke the Lincoln Memorial. Uh, I knew Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln was a friend of mine. Bill...

bill clinton man at his best

The funny thing is: when Republican politicians are saddled with lousy photos, it is assumed it's a deliberate act of professional vandalism by media hostiles (remember the photo of John McCain that ran on the cover of the "Atlantic" last year?). But, in Clinton's case, they are actually trying to take a good picture! And, yet they never succeed.

The Clinton marketing team has always emphasized that Bill is this scary-smart moderate who saved the world from the unspeakable likes of Newt Gingrich and Bob Dole. Stories like this NY Times magazine piece perpetuate this basic message. And yet, it is easily undercut by the man himself, who can't even sit for a decent portrait.

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